#normal?
I know, I said I was going to give my voice a rest and let others take over — and I will — I have one more guest voice already in the wings and several others to talk to and note and write about. I want to continue to do that and give others voices some airtime.
I need a bit of your indulgence as readers before I publish that second ‘now and next’ post; because I think I’ve twigged what’s difficult for all of us ‘doing our bit’ whilst our heroes battle this virus and its impact.
Being and doing things that are normal.
What even IS that to us anymore? This situation is NOT normal.
Yet, aren’t we encouraged to act like that — some kind of normal — until this is over? Aren’t we under the impression (or told) that to preserve our sanity, we should be and do normal things?
Isn’t that behind why some people wanted to sunbathe in a park whilst still observing and respecting social distancing rules? Isn’t it normal that we crave such things?
Isn’t it normal that people would then criticise those people doing such normal things as sunbathing?
And then isn’t it normal that other people would criticise those being critical? Like the infinite stairwell, we all use way too much energy traversing this issue but going nowhere. Maybe that’s normal?
- Isn’t it normal that we need a bit of humour to lighten our day?
- Or isn’t it normal to be super serious at times like these and dial down the humour?
- Isn’t it normal we have different ways of dealing with things?
- Or isn’t it normal we don’t understand how people can act so differently to us in a crisis like this?
- Or even, isn’t it normal we over analyse a situation like this and shrink into ourselves?
I think there’s a bubble that’s burst in all of this and it’s the one called normal.
I’m going to suggest more of the ‘bleedin’ obvious’ stating: And that is we get used to there being no such thing as normal and in my opinion, the sooner we do that the better. These are surely abnormal circumstances and it is futile to think otherwise. Yet to some, normal is now the desired outcome of all of this. I’m not only not sure, but I also don't want that outcome.
We are in out-of-the-ordinary times. We are in a state of uncertainty about everything and we are looking to answers about when normality, or in some cases a new normal, will start.
I’m wondering whether there was every anything normal about life and that routine, expectations, traditions, rituals and other things created a sense of normality over things that were never meant to be normal.
Since March 10th, I’ve had ups and downs and highs and lows and tried my best to be normal through this.
Normal for me is high-energy; upbeat; positive; helpful; a little bit creative; connecting; supportive; supercharged; tolerant.
Sounds like a self-appraisal and a bit of humble-bragging perhaps? Normally, I’d care a lot about what other people think of me. Now, I’m not so sure I want to feel that. So yeah, a humble-brag, if you will, or just reflecting back how I’m told, is my normal.
Yet my normal comes at a price others may not know so much.
So my normal is also to hold some hurt deep inside and not let that on to other people.
My normal is also to stew over things other people say and do, that gets me angry, annoyed, sad or dejected.
Normal for me is to sometimes be picked on by other people for whatever reason they know best.
Normal for me is to not say precisely how I feel because I don’t want to hurt other people.
Normal for me is to mostly bite my lip and not get engaged in heated arguments.
Normal is to show up and be when I don’t really want to be that way.
So actually, normal comes at a price and a set of compromises and may not always be for the best (whatever that is).
Because there is no normal and perhaps there never was?
Why do we want to go back to normal anyway?
Is it just that we like an orderly life that is our normal?
I’m not sure there is such a thing either. Forces beyond us shape what we experience, and it appears we create a sense of normal to prove how much we can navigate those forces.
Well, I think I’m running out of energy and patience for being normal and doing normal things.
And if we let go of normal what then? Disorder? Chaos? Liberation? I don’t know.
I don’t know what normal means anymore and I suspect many of us feel the same thing.
You see normally, my posts might help some people, even inspire them a bit. I like to think that anyway and some reactions have supported that.
With this post, it’s me not being normal which I might have apologised for in the past. That would be my normal.
But right now, at this time, as I see it, there is no normal.
Normally uplifting?
Screw it. I just want to be something other than normal today, and I guess that’s alright if you do too.
I still wish that this virus dies quickly and puts an end to people suffering. I also wish — with all my heart — that we use this opportunity to stop, think and reinvent how we all live and work.
Here’s a quote from the wonderful Katie Marlow who, in messaging conversation, this morning with me just asked if I was OK and I said ‘…having some interesting thoughts about normal…’
I like the slow, I like the space etc. But I miss our adventures as a family, going for walks at the beach or countryside, etc. It feels like loss of those things that are intrinsic parts of my strongest value, Wonder… Miss that. The commercial, busyness, traffic, noise, pressure, school run, don’t miss any of that.
And before anyone says it: But we crave our social connections and being in the same space and all that.
I think those normal things aren’t simply overridden by our emergence from this pandemic. I think we should question them, really search for how we want to be in the world, individually and collectively.
Family gatherings, friends going out. Concerts. Shows. Conferences. Sure, they might return but I won’t be at the front of the queue to push this return to normal just how it was. I’ve often felt lonely in a crowd. And wondered why. Now I know why. Being around people can be exhausting. Solitude is a welcome relief from this and this period of lockdown has proven that to me.
Supposedly an extrovert, I’m really comfortable in isolation even for long periods of time. My (mild) anxiety now is that return to normal.
What we knew as normal isn’t perhaps as good as it once was, or ever was, but we conditioned ourselves to it.
Now our normal might be to recondition ourselves to something very different. Distant but together. Connected but apart. Calmer but excitable.
I needed an exchange this morning to think this through as I was writing this post. With my partner-in-work (because it’s not a crime, what we do) Broch Cleminson, we helped make things clearer together. I was disturbed, a bit lost, and couldn’t find the words to clear my thoughts. And we did what we have done since we first connected (virtually) in August 2017.
We exchanged messages.
And in concluding that exchange about normal and our reactions to saving our business through adaptation and being more virtual in our work, and using our connections and our ‘offer’ through a wider range of digitally-connected methods, Broch wisely concluded this:
So in actual fact, we are no longer in lockdown — the rest of the world is.
I don’t want that normal that was my life before 10th March. I want a new abnormal to truly be who I am.
Normally abnormal
