#listen
Leading others isn’t easy. And yet this is not to let off the hook those who are really messing up the gift, art and wonderment of leading others.
Jacinda Ardern is rightly being lauded as the leader who, through the pandemic crisis and before, is leading well.
It seems like she’s decisive, compassionate, clear.
I think she’s a listener.
My good friend Colin David Smith will hopefully love this post. He describes himself as The Listener. It’s perhaps — in the world of MBA-led descriptors of what work is and our role in it—a difficult concept to grasp.
Someone would invite and even pay Colin to come and listen to them?
Yep.
Because what’s so hard about leadership is knowing you’re doing the right thing. And what is so clear in royally screwing up being a leader is that you aren’t listening. Say no more on the ‘leaders’ of 2 of the largest influencing nations on the planet that seem to sadly epitomise that lack of listening.
Leaders who listen are leaders who seem to be doing things ‘right’.
And most leaders don’t need an executive coach, a leadership programme from a standout business school, a team of people skilled enough around them to keep up or a visionary streak in their DNA that transcends others ability to conceive the art of the possible.
Leaders need to listen. And that means 100% listen. Undivided attention to others. Opening of minds and souls to be present in not an exchange but in receiving.
To listen with ears, mind and soul.
- Listen with the intent to understand.
- Listen with the intent to not respond.
- Listen so that people are heard and so that they can ‘be’ to tell you their truth.
But how do leaders find the time and space to listen? Surely leaders are always listening?
I suspect most leaders don’t appear to have the time and space to listen but that to me signals they don’t have the energy to listen.
I suspect most leaders appear to be listening but most of the time, they’re processing in order to decide.
Listening isn’t necessarily to decide, it’s to understand and be with someone so they feel understood, they belong, they have value, validity, purpose, belief, and can show their vulnerability, passion, ideas, frustrations and more.
Listening is how we are present in the moment. Not off with the future possibilities or the past analysed and reviewed.
Take the tiny enterprise (PTHR) I’m part of and the small group of people (7 of us) who’ve huddled over the possibilities to make a difference.
We’re small enough that we listen all the time surely? Not so quick. Sure we Zoom, message on Slack and What’s App and talk and share. But listen? Truly?
In recognising how to lead it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t giving enough time to others to be listened to. I hadn’t put enough energy of mine into listening to others.
So, on finding the energy, I opened up my time and so far have had listening sessions with 3 of the team.
Revelations. Value. Richness. Depth. It felt so good to not talk but just listen. And I believe it also felt good for those 3 people to be listened to by me. No action plan, interjection or decisions. Just listened to.
So that’s it, folks.
Want to be a good leader? Listen.
Want to be a good team member? Listen and be listened to.
Want to be a good person? Listen.
To your inner voice — sure. To your world around you — sure.
And to those who you have the gift, honour, pleasure and duty of care to and lead? ABSOLUTELY sure.
If you don’t have the energy for it, expect leading others to be a constant turmoil-led way of uncertainty, doubt and bluster.
Spark the energy to listen. Just do it once. 30 minutes around 2 simple questions.
- You and your work — how is it? What do you need more or less of? And just listen.
- Me as your leader — how am I? What do you need more or less of from me? And just listen. Sure commit to doing stuff later but listen. Don’t justify, respond, validate or challenge. Just listen.
Listen. That’s it. Just listen.
Else how will you know the truth? For the truth will set you free.
As Oprah said:
Just listen.
