#kintsugi
Wikipedia defines Kintsugi as <here> the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.
When we say the word broken it feels tragic. Damaged forever. No longer functional and pointless. Loss, heartbreak and hurt.
Much in the world feels broken. Political systems, regimes, loss.
And yet, we could, and perhaps should take a look into Kintsugi to think how we can turn brokenness into resolve, fixed states and even more beauty.
OK, it’s ideological. OK, I might be naive. OK, I might be overly optimistic.
But what if, we looked at the things that are broken nearest to us — including elements of ourselves — and applied Kintsugi?
Here we go then.
I’m broken.
You might have some of the biggest struggles you’ve ever faced. And yet you’ve struggled before and perhaps even felt broken but you’ve repaired. And it might not have felt like gold, silver or platinum inserted into the shards of you and breakages you’d experienced, but through learning, finding strength and guile, being creative, supported by others, finding a way you became unbroken. Kintsugi-like, your repairs are made of things stronger than before and binding what you were before your broken experience, you are now, stronger.
It’s often easy to get caught in despair when only you know you best and feel broken beyond repair. There are others who willingly want to help unbreak you. There are techniques to help you find your Kintsugi kit. And gold often lies in the darkest recesses of the earth, so maybe in your soul awaiting discovery.
I’m not at all skirting over how difficult it is when you feel broken, but there’s a start in being kind to yourself. Understanding what has built you so far, and might build you to the next stage in your evolution.
Appreciating that all breakages can be repaired and perhaps the break is a chance to repair back with more strength and beauty as is the way of Kintsugi.
We are shaped by what we experience testing who we are.
As the marvellous Otto Scharmer says “Isn’t there a way to break the patterns of the past and tune into our highest future possibility — and to begin to operate from that place?” A paradox of break when broken perhaps?
My relationships are broken.
This feels even tougher sometimes. Others who no longer have the regard, appreciation, respect, love and belief in you where they once had.
I’m no relationship therapist but my word this is a prevalent thing in our dispersed world through COVID-19 loss, restrictions and separation.
And yet, my experiences are that relationships are often transient, situational and episodic. And they change, morph and transform through life. Some people are with you forever, some fleetingly.
I guess my philosophy on this is who in your circle of relationships is — or helps you find — the gold for your Kintsugi kit?
They may likely be the people that matter. Not the people that count. There’s a difference. We don’t just “collect” people, we forge, bond and come together with those that matter. So don’t focus on counting, focus on mattering.
My work is broken
Sadly an all-too-familiar experience for many. And the COVID-19 disruption has some exasperated this too.
Whether there is a Great Resignation or a Great Reshuffle, what is happening is a Great Questioning.
Where, with whom, when and how do I work and how does that unbreak something that feels broken. Promises, commitments, systems, social cohesion, inventiveness, creativity, chance, care and support might all feel broken.
Some, are dogmatically sticking to what was the 2019 version of things. Some are doing that and decrying, humiliating, pouring scorn on alternatives and even on others uncertainty. That’s broken. A poorly executed attitudinal deficiency to openness, care and inclusion. It’s not YOUR way, it’s THEIR way.
Sure Hybrid working is a mess. But then after a system is broken — the where of work for many desk-based operations — comes uncertainty and to some a willingness to regress, not progress. Back to how it was despite new realisations and anxieties.
Whatever you think about this you’re wrong. It was a broken system in many ways where the cracks were widening.
In 2020, 17.9 million working days in the UK alone were lost to workplace-related stress. Now it’s been challenged further by the shockwave of a pandemic and some are trying to find their gold in their Kintsugi kit.
So instead of “my pot’s ok” think “is it, really?” and look for the cracks and what gold you can find before you insist someone else’s gold is fools gold.
In work is evolution but also de-evolution. We make a system change, introduce tech, downsize (eurgh) the workforce. And then it really does break. We’ve de-evolved. So we have to build back up. But instead, we often throw away the broken pot and try a new one. Or try and mix Tupperware with Bone China.
When all that is needed is that gold to repair as we find our organisational Kintsugi kit and forge even more strongly what was before.
The world is broken.
It is. It always has been as natural disasters, volatile climates, mass extinctions. Yet look at this marvellous blue, green and yellow orb. It’s broken ages, then forged into a reassembled evolved next age.
Politics, economics and more are broken. Yet somehow we find the gold to deploy the world’s Kintsugi kit. COP26 may have more work to do in proving this, but we don’t just need a conference declaration. We need small slithers of gold, silver and platinum put to use in all of our crockery set.
We can all play a part in making the world a little bit better each day and a little less broken.
This brings me to World Kindness Day.
ALL of the brokenness in the world, work, relationships and us, need that gold that’s found in kindness.
ALL of those repairs we can make in using our Kintsugi kit starts with the platinum strength of kindness.
ALL of the deeds and learning shine brightly with the silver of sharing, supporting others and staying strong in what’s fair, just and needed in life.
Whilst this might be an odd quote to finish with a mix of realism and hope, I think Frederick Douglass is right and I’ll add to this, that broken people (men) may find their repair in building strength in our next generations to face the problems that are facing us today and tomorrow.
And that is the kindest thing we can do today. Build for our future, help those in their earlier years, use your Kintsugi kit to unbreak yourself, the system and the world and give the future a chance to be unbreakable.
Be kinder from now on #worldkindnessday and beyond.
That’s how we’ll be unbroken and strengthen ourselves through our very own Kintsugi.
