#higher

Uncharacteristically for me, I posted with more emotion than poise yesterday. It wasn’t for everyone though it struck a chord with some. It was perhaps a bit raw for me and urged by a sense of rage, I posted about ugly, and my own writing was also, a bit ugly.

I called for a less than sophisticated stance of ridicule of those who act in such ugly ways. To make them feel shame and embarrassment for their actions. I was trying to fight fire with foam, but I think I was still using an inappropriate extinguisher.

I’ve watched the world demonstrate its best and worst since mid-March and the realisation that we faced a microscopic challenge that has taken lives and impacted harshly on many of us.

We are also yet to see the real economic and societal long-tail ramifications of course; and many are not predicting, merely narrating that we’re in a recession worse than 2008 and many economic dips before it.

And now we have an explosion of social unrest, unease and tension. Dividing us at the precise time we need more unity. More than ironic, it’s already tragic.

So after the rage and anguish of yesterday (13 June) and some of the societal warts, fractures and foul stench of prejudice on display, I’m more contemplative and clear today.

Clear that we do need something higher to aim for.

And if that means leaving behind those not prepared to make the choice to let go of their prejudices and hatred, well, those are the choices to be made. Human Beings can notoriously self-limit, self-harm and ultimately, self-destruct with their choices.

So what is ‘higher’? Spiritual higher? Intellectual higher?

Yes to those. Yet some people have undoubted intellect and allegedly spirit and faith yet their version of higher is their own place in a hierarchy of worth: For their caste, creed and kin in society and life.

Such people aren’t bothered with the trivialities of struggle, inequality and hardship — no, because they are the worthy, the righteous, the deserved — and others are less entitled and should be marginalised and derided and ‘managed’. Much like the under-classes in the Hunger Games. Labour and entertainment for the privileged bourgeoisie.

So higher should not be confused with merit, privilege and caste.

Higher in this context is about positive intent; action and inclusion.

We’ve talked about equality and diversity for a long time now, and many of us know and understand why this has become a focal point. And why actions are taken to bring about an ever-better understanding of diversity in order to achieve equality, create inclusion and forge belonging to a more civil society.

Equality of choice, access and opportunity should be our beginning. As the quote says, “equal rights for others will not mean fewer rights for you — it’s not pie.”

Yet, clearly some people fear for losses they (or others like them) will incur due to greater equality of access, choice and opportunity. Which is one reason why they might stick to their view that there is some injustice done to them in pursuit of equality that includes everyone.

Such people evidently, and so vehemently believe, their privileges, merit and worth are vulnerable and therefore they reject the case for more equality by continuing to deny the existence of inequality, by tipping things away from those who experience injustice, and avoid the creation of more fairness and equality that would disadvantage them. They fear loss, they like their privilege even if they deny it exists.

How can you tip the scales towards balance when one side is still heavily weighted towards the right scale and the left scale is still the lesser weighted of the two?

Of course, it’s complex and that can make it even harder for some to see what the intent, action and inclusion could be about.

Well, I hope this metaphor helps.

Just as we have ‘the invisible hand’ of the market (in Adam Smith’s version of a capitalist model for an economic system), we also have the ‘invisible hand’ of privilege. Whether we like to admit it or not, because of past societal norms, attitudes and controls, some people are pushing forward (often unknowingly) by the invisible hand of privilege; whilst others are blocked, pushed aside or held back by the same invisible hand.

So a higher version of intent, action and inclusion is to start a new narrative.

A new series of metaphors and a different way to understand injustice, inequality and unfair advantages.

And this is where we can ALL play a part.

Instead of arguing forcibly with each other, we ensure we are tuned to the invisible forces behind someone’s stance; and address that through an intentional understanding of their position and experiences that have shaped their attitude. We might do well to adopt the concept of Non-Violent Communication pioneered by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s.

We might then use the invisible hand of privilege metaphor to lead others to a realisation that just because they don’t necessarily display any prejudices, biases or divisive dialogue, it still exists. In others, in societal artefacts, in unspoken exclusion and in unseen barriers. And of course in overt and explicit displays, words and deeds.

Actions then need to be taken. In some, who now acknowledge the invisible hand of privilege, that they can share with others. Influence through a daisy-chain of conversations so that others understand and can also open their minds and be more inclusive in their words, deeds and eventually, thoughts.

Of course, there are other, sometimes much stronger actions that can be taken and we’ve seen many of them already.

Corporations declaring that they support #blacklivesmatter. Introducing more learning-based support for their people and more ways to report and investigate and act on injustice, unfairness and prejudice being shown colleague-to-colleague; consumer-to-colleague; partner-to-colleague.

And the CEO of Reddit — Alexis Ohanian's actions to resign from the Reddit Board and to offer his position to a person of colour.

Taking Alexis’s own stance. If you didn’t know about the circumstances, some might accuse him of being a left-leaning liberal whose actions go too far and the invisible hand of privilege is no longer invisible and is unfairly sweeping aside anyone of merit for the position because they are not a person of colour.

Yet, Alexis is married to Serena Williams. They have a child. In Alexis’s own words he said “I’m saying this as a father who needs to be able to answer his black daughter when she asks: ‘What did you do?’”

He also donated to Colin Kaepernick’s knowyourrightscamp.com.

And talking of Mr Kaepernick, of course, his initial sitting down for the US anthem at NFL games caused outrage among many Americans as disrespecting the flag and veterans. One veteran who did something about it was former Green Beret, Nate Boyer. He invited Colin to a conversation about his thoughts and reactions. The story is covered well here by the LA Times.

In the dialogue between Colin and Nate, came the understanding of the invisible hand of privilege or in this case the less than invisible hand of prejudice and injustice. Nate could see his initial response to Colin’s stance (a letdown and even a feeling of insult) was unfounded. Between them, the stance of kneeling came to be. The ultimate show of respect to a fallen comrade’s memorial is to kneel before it. So Colin adjusted his stance from sitting to kneeling and so the story goes onto more NFL players showing their allyship to highlight injustice and brutality in this way.

Intent; action; inclusion on display in this one example of willingness to listen, talk, understand, adjust, achieve.

So back to Non-Violent (or Compassionate or Collaborative) Communication (NVC for ease of reference hereafter).

The premise of this stance is to avoid getting hijacked (like I did yesterday) by rage; allowing hatred to guide your thoughts, and then deeds.

NVC is built on these assumptions (which could help us with the understanding of the invisible hand of privilege)

• All human beings share the same needs
• Our world offers sufficient resources for meeting everyone’s basic needs
• All actions are attempts to meet needs
• Feelings point to needs being met or unmet
• All human beings have the capacity for compassion
• Human beings enjoy giving
• Human beings meet needs through interdependent relationships
• Human beings change
• Choice is internal
• The most direct path to peace is through self-connection

And then, intent.

• Open-hearted living (such as self-compassion and moving beyond right and wrong and into understanding needs)
• Choice (responsibility, peace, and understanding how to increase the capacity for meeting needs)
• Partnership (sharing power; caring equally for others’ needs, using force to protect not to acquire needs).

Easy to list; not easy to enact. Yet necessary for now and what lies beyond.

Within NVC lies a more heart-and-soul based approach to thinking and then doing.

The invisible hand of privilege is another difficult thing to comprehend when you may feel you have never willingly exercised it. Its force may not have been yielded by you yet that does not mean it doesn’t exist and create a force for you and against others.

In NVC we can see a way to think, feel, talk, and then do something to counter this invisible force. For those on the backslap of the invisible hand of privilege may fight it and push all they like but it won’t disappear until we all play a part in creating an invisible hand of inclusion.

And that, my dear people of the world, in a mid-pandemic, economically fragile and volatile world, is now even harder.

Yet that hardship is why we must, and will do something about it, together.

When faced with gentle urges to change, we can be complacent, fall into the knowing-doing gap and believe it’s all OK. We can believe that the invisible hand of privilege has vaporised and no longer divides us.

Now, I’d suggest we brutally know the invisible is now visible. We see it in others actions and words; we sense it dialogue and subtleties, and we experience it more obviously.

So to combat the invisible hand of privilege we have to go higher in our intent; actions and inclusion.

Just as small and large deeds created our fractures and dissonance, so can small and large deeds fuse and heal our divide towards a more unified and inclusive way to be.

We can all do something however small it may seem.

We can all learn about Non-Violent Communication and take a higher approach to how we are with others.

We can all acknowledge the invisible hand of privilege and use that realisation to create an even stronger visible hand of inclusion and unity.

Our higher aim is in our intent; actions and inclusion of others to overcome the invisible hand of privilege, fight the injustice exercised by some to others based on the colour of their skin, and the inclusion of all in fairer and more just ways to live, work and be.

There’s only one quote I believe in that would finish this piece: