#Breathe
What if I were to say to you that your boss didn’t care whether you inhaled or exhaled ever again. Because they’d just get someone else in to do your job?
I’ve witnessed some things in my time and in my work particularly, but the dreamy ambitions of some who breathe life into every conversation; is then matched by the vacuum like life-extraction I’ve seen and experienced from some so-called leaders.
Several weeks ago, (I like to let these stories percolate a bit sometimes to not write too soon - like a fine Port - let it breathe a bit), I met a fabulous entrepreneurial start-up founder in digital who had just the most unbridled energy and belief for what they were doing. They had a vision that was made of simple gestures for the people who were now on board with this company’s products; with grandiose aspirations of undoing a lot of what’s wrong with the world (in this case, work and learning). They were breathing life into everything, everyone in that start-up was all about. It is now very successful and breathing life into a crusty old behemoth of a company as a key client.
And this also took me back to a meeting, and deep conversation with, a very soulful leader in a different kind of tech enterprise. He was perhaps THE most soulful leader I’ve come across and he told the most gripping story of his failure as a leader.
His failure was to not invite his people to help him lead the company out of the toughest of tough situations. He didn’t describe any lame attempts to “purpose-wash” or gloss over the severity of the situation; he just told this heartfelt story of what he wanted and needed to do, with the storm he was having to navigate, for the people who he’d grown to care a bit about, who were also his employees and his team. And he took it all on himself to act like a human shield to his people. And it took its toll on him but also them. They came to him and said, “let us in”.
They needed him to breathe for himself again and not just help them with their oxygen masks. What an act of togetherness.
He admitted his failure, let them in and the rescue and the total re-oxygenation process was complete. Turnaround.
And then a new incoming leadership buyout came in and unceremoniously dismissed him. Whilst that took his breath away, he is breathing stronger elsewhere and devoting more time to his family.
And then like a lightning rod of a reality check, my mind was cast back a few months, to a leadership team I was invited in to help; that were poles apart from each other with a 50/50 split on amazing, committed and humanist leaders with lofty dreams, and the other half, a group of KPI spouting, management-rhetoric belching, stone-cold deathly business bullsh*t warriors.
I had five separate encounters with this team of opposites and had a personal dilemma to resolve.
That on the one hand, I wanted to act as a blast shield for the dreamers and just take on the rhetoric belchers. And then I wanted to let the dreamers win in their own right.
I took the second choice but also did a little jousting with the belchers to help the dreamers a bit.
Sentences like those below; punctuated, what was up to then, a good look into the culture and business plan for this rather large and geographically dispersed function in sales and marketing.
“HR’s idea is to trust and empower staff but we have low-skill, high turnover roles in offices and in support so there’ll be chaos if we take our eye off the supervision ball.”
“We don’t need any more training than the onboarding they get in weeks 1 and 2.”
And these ones got to me:
“The Directors are only bothered about returns to our investors, they don’t care about our high stress and sickness absence; if people aren’t tough enough for the job, we should manage them out.”
“The Chairman doesn’t believe we need anything other than an adequate service offer to our customers and partners; because we’re the biggest player in this field.”
“The leading Area Manager in sales figures is the only one who has a safe job — all the other 11 had better watch out.”
I challenged each one and contained my temper, simply asking questions and not making any judgements, or responding or showing emotion. It was to show those dreamers that this is a damaging and rather obstructive mental model they’re having to deal with.
Fast forward to now, and on checking in with that team just to see how things are, three of that foursome who were the “belchers” have gone. The one who is left leads the entire function. So apparently, he’s gotten even more obnoxious, obstructive and dogmatic. He’s feeling the fear. He’s lashing out. He’s losing the plot.
Yet still, the dreamers — now outnumbering the Belcher 7 to 1, and containing a more dynamic and modern makeup, still can’t win. And they’re choking — they’re not able to breathe properly in this environment because the leader literally strangles their energy and enthusiasm and commitment out of them.
The point of this entire piece is to think of breathing not just in the classic sense of oxygenating our bodies and organs but to think of breathing in the sense of our work.
What helps us breathe through the work we do?
What leaves us breathless in a state of excitement?
What hits us like a body-blow so we have a whole different sense of breathlessness?
Who takes our breath away — versus — makes our oxygen stale?
When we’re having a moment, we’re taught to breathe and be present in our breathing. To count. To deeply feel the sense of our inhalation and exhalation experience.
To overcome hyperventilation, we go deep and slower into a bag, not shallow and rapid and panicked. When we’re exerting ourselves physically, we know how important the focus on our breathing is to create rhythm and flow. To fuel our mind and body.
In work, we should also think about our thought process, actions and decision in a breathing sense.
Aptly, I started the draft of this post before the sudden loss of the Prodigy’s wild frontman Keith Flint. So it seems fitting to simply close with this tale of breathing and a warning of the need to breathe and be mindful of others’ breathing in the game of work and business.
Breathe the pressure
Come play my game, I’ll test ya
Psychosomatic, addict, insane
Breathe the pressure
Come play my game, I’ll test ya
Psychosomatic, addict, insane
Come play my game
Inhale, inhale, you’re the victim
Come play my game
Exhale, exhale, exhale
